Smasher high!
by KirbyKnight65
Summary: A new year in School for Link! Will his irate attitude increase? Will Roy learn that his girlfriend is not superior? Find out! Just a Parody of High school life...And Hell...Sometimes a plot happens! T for crude humor and Strong language
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! Welcome to my new Fanfiction The Smasher High! The characters are a little different from their counterparts in the Team Metaknight saga so basically here is my Character guide to show the smashers are this time**

**Link- A foul-mouthed Selfish jerk, he is friendly to Roy Marth and Ike but most other people are nothing to him, He is a Freshman**

**Roy- A Robin obbsessed Freshman. If you even dare look at Robin he will probe you with his sword...take note of that.**

**Marth- A whiny Freshman who's hobby is over-eating he dates various girls but always fails in relationships**

**Ike- A Strong, Prideful Freshman with an attitude.**

**Lucina- A pretty girl who Ike likes...She normally steers clear of him.**

**Robin- Roy's Girlfriend...Dont look!**

**Zelda- Links Love interest...the only issue is that Zelda's dad bitterly hates link**

**Toon link- A begginstrip obsessed person who lives with link**

**The Koopalings- The bane of the Smashers...**

**Iggy- The only koopaling that the others tolerate**

**Kirby- A perverted freshman constantly making 69 jokes during class.**

**Meta knight- Another perverted freshman**

**Lucas- A nerdy kid who is not quite in High school yet but hangs out with the others**

**Ness- a split persona, an Idiot on school property and perfectly normal off of it.**

**Now that that is over...here is the fanfic.**

**Link**

Link was near the school pouring gas all over it _Try taking me here now!_ He thought evily taking a match and lighting it on fire. He bagan to laugh demonically when suddenly he heard a voice... "Link!...Link!...LINK! GET THE HELL UP!" he awoke instantly _Dammit...it was a dream..._He thought dissapointed. "Come get your damn breakfast boy!" His mother called out. Link put on his gold tunic and put on his belt and hat. "Ok mom im coming!...damn" he said

"What was that?" His Mother said while putting a plate on the table. "Uhhhh nothing..." He said. he then proceeded to Snarf down his Breakfast. _Man...First words out of Roy's mouth is probably gonna be about friggin Robin...Marth's gonna be a whiny bitch...and Ike's gonna brag about how much hes worked out!_ Link complained in his mind while walking through the door on his way to the school.

Needless to get into...Links way to school wasnt that great, A bus managed to nearly swerve into him. A Passing car threw mud in his face. And some dickhead teens decided to Throw water at him through a bush. _For gods sake please let getting into school be better then this morning. _He thought as he walked onto school property. His ears were then offended by Marth's Whiny tone.

"I went through another Breakup!" Marth cried "Why can people love me!" Link was already irritated by Marth's stupid feel sorry for me bullshit. "Because maybe if you didnt act all sad all the time like noone cares then maybe someone would!" Link said in an irate tone. Roy walked over with a smug look on his face "Hey Marth! Hey Link! Guess what i did with Robin" He said Smugly. "Dude I swear to god if you say Played Castle i will Fucking Shank you..." He threatened.

**How will Link survive this new year? Will Roy stop talking about Robin? Will Marth stop being a whiny bitch? Find out! oh and guys Sorry for the characters being ooc but it is sorta the point of the story...its a parody anyway hope you enjoy, I will write when i can!**


	2. What the hell is a Slope?

**Hey guys KirbyKnight65 here, Here is the second chapter to my fanfic. Id like to thank ChaiCat17 for their suggestion and eventually that will be added anyway here is Chapter 2**

"Hm...I better not say what i was going to say then..." Roy decided. Link let out a sigh of relief "You know what would make this day complete?" Link said in a sarcastic tone. "Mr Douchebag coming over and boasting about his iron..." at that moment he heard Ikes voice "Hey guys!" _God dammit! I jinxed myself!_ Link thought angrily. "Whats this about Douche's and Iron?" Ike asked them "Ummmmm Nothing" Link replied he walked with them into the school. Link could tell at that moment...This year was going to suck...Badly.

Link walked into his first class. Of course by Links luck is was math. _Today is not my day apparently...Then again i font know when it ever is_ Link thought. The teacher began blabbing about Slopes and stuff..._Seriously! When the hell am i ever going to use Fucking slopes! _Link angrily thought "Ok Turn to page 69!" The teacher told the class. Soon enough Obnoxious laughing sounded from the back. Of course...He managed to get in the same first class as Kirby and Meta Knight. "Why me..." Link muttered.

**Roys POV**

Roy sat in the class looking around making sure every boy was in line. Because NOONE Looks at Robin. He caught a boy take a quick glance her way. Roy began to shake in rage. The boy soon returne to his work but Roy wasnt calm he waited until after class was over. He walked to the kids locker took his sword and probed him up the ass. The boy screamed in sheer pain, causing everyone near the hallway to look his way. "I Warned ya! Ya dont Fucking look at Robin!" He sneered at the kid. Roy's best friend Marth looked at him "Dude...That was just screwed up on so many levels..." He tried to reason. Roy looked back "But he fucking looked at her!" Roy snarled "Ummmmmm So did I" Another kid said. Roy roared an awkward roar and ran towards the boy in his stupid rage.

**Back to Links POV Because Roy's makes no sense**

Link slammed his head into his desk. He had just about enough of Kirby's sex jokes. "Hey Meta knight!" Kirby said "What?" Meta knight asked "The teacher told us to turn to page 69 one minute ago and now were at 70! Subtract one!" They both burst out laughing. "The teacher looked at them "Eh hemm...What is so funny" "Uhh nothing sir...nothing" Kirby muttered "Thats what i thought...Anyway turn to page 71" The teacher said "This is the slopes Point Slope form!" "WHAT THE HELL IS A POINT SLOPE FORM?" Link yelled "AND WHEN THE HELL AM I EVER GOING TO USE THIS?" The teacher wrote him a slip. "Pricipals office...Now..." The teacher Chided. "Fuck..." Link cursed.

**Will Link get Detention? Will Roy get Anger management? Find out on the Next Chapter! **


	3. Pfffft Who even cares?

**Hey guys KirbyKnight65 here for the third chapter of Smasher High! Enjoy!**

**Link's POV**

Link walked down to the principle office grudgingly. "These teachers apparently put up with no shit..." Link muttered as he walked down the hallway. Soon enough he entered the Principles office. "So...Mister Link...Ive heard you've been a VERY Bad boy" He said. _Ok...What the hell is this... _Link thought, rolling his eyes "You screamed F-u-c-k in class...Not school appropriate young man...Im going to call your mom." He said. "Pfft...See if my mom cares..She doesent give a shit what i say..." Link muttered.

The principle got up. "YOU CLAM IT MISTER!" He yelled. Link rolled his eyes but said nothing. The principle dialed his mothers number and waited. "Hello?" His mom said "Ahhh Links mother..You're boy has been using watchy language." He explained the incident. "Fuck off..." His mother said then hung up. "Well...Ill call your fat-" "My father is dead..." Link interrupted. "Oh...Well i guess theres nothing i can do...But you'd better not end up in my office again boy..." Mr Miller warned.

**Roy's POV**

After Roy was done probing the asshole who looked at Robin he wiped the sweat off of his head. "Whew! That was hard work!" He said "Dude all you did was shove your sword up the kids ass for a half hour..." Marth said who was next to him keeping time. "Woah! Thats a record!" Roy exclaimed Marth fell on his face. Link walked past them in then hall. "Hey Morons...What have you been up to?" He asked "Oh you know...Roy was sword-fucking a kid...The usual" Marth explained.

Link got a blank look. "Ok i got in trouble for saying fuck in class...but you are in the hallway which is filled with teachers...Shoving a sword in a kids ass and nothing happens?" He said "What the flying fuck shit damn bitch cunt ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ASS IS wrong with this place?" Link cursed. "Woah man! Watch your mouth!" A nearby teacher said giving him the evil eye. "Oh my god..." Link muttered

**Ike's POV**

Ike was in the gym pumping some iron. a jock walked over to him "Yo man what you doin?" He said. "Fucking your sister..." He answered "Dude what does it look like im doing?" He yelled. "WOAH MAN...NOT COOL!" the jock yelled "YOU KNOW I DONT HAVE A SISTER" Ike went blank "No i dont...Whats your name" "I am Little mac...NCheese" He said. "Who the fuck named you?" He said Little mac started crying "Dont make fun of my name!" he choked then ran out. "Oh my god..." Ike muttered


	4. Links eulogy

**Hey guys, KirbyKnight65 here for the 4th chapter of Smasher High.**

**Links POV**

Link was getting ready for 2nd period he was getting really impatient with the teachers as they were all either Assholes or overly nice. He was impatient with Roy because he never even got caught sword-fucking a kid in the middle of a hallway. And he was impatient with the whole school because none of it even made any sense!

"My god...if i live for the next hour...im gonna be fuckin amazed..." Link muttered as he walked. Soon he accidently bumped into a girl in the hallway. He fell on his ass. Then the girl turned  
"Hey! Watch where you're going" She snapped then looked down "Oh...Its you..." She said

"Oh its me? Zelda..I have a name you know" Link said as he got up. His bottom stung like hell but he needed to be cool "Anyway whats up"

"Oh this one girl claims shes a princess and that every boy loves her...Most of the boys are kissing her ass however" She replied with a disgusted face.

"Oh..Whats her name?" HE asked

"Rosalina.." She replied "She's so full of herself"

"Sounds interesting..." He said "Ill go see what you mean."

**Rosalina's POV**

Rosalina was sitting with all the boys. After all everyone loved her. She was the ultimate woman. And the boys were all in her hands. Suddenly a boy walked over

"Have you come to make lo-" "No..Hell no...Fuck no..." Link retorted

"But you love me..." Rosalina stuttered

"Ummmmm...No" Link replied

Rosalina got an angry look on her face. "If you dont love me i will strike you with my godly cosmic awesomeness powers!" She yelled

"What are you a mary su-...Oh son of a bitch" Link said. Suddenly a lightning bolt shot down. And that was the end of him.

**Roys POV**

"We are here to honor the loss..Of our friend Link.." Roy began "He isnt worth a Eulogy so we will sit and cry over his dead body for two hours." Roy finished

Ike looked at Marth then back at Roy "What do you mean hes not worth a Eulogy" Ike asked

"Well...He was kinda an asshole" Roy replied "Especially when you took his Pepsi..."

"Well really...When did you think it was a good idea to even drink that..." Ike rolled his eyes

Link walked in and stood behind Roy "Hey guys whats up" He asked

"Oh nothing Link were just hosting your funeral" Roy replied

"Yeah I dont think that will be necessary" Link said "Ike bust the casket"

Ike looked at Link "Wait a second..How are you alive?" Ike said "This makes no sense!"

"Dude..Why would i go to that Shit-hole of a school without making backups of myself..." he replied "Goodness man...You need to get with the times.."

**Which Non-Nintendo character should i add? 1. Luke Skywalker 2. Pavel Chekov 3. Goku Lol its because im gonna add a new character that each chapter will contain who you vote for..Sometimes protagonistic..others not so much**


	5. Marths Disgusting appetite

**Hey guys KirbyKnight65 here for the 5th chapter of Smasher high! Hope you enjoy!**

**Links POV**

Link, as usual was irritated with life. Rosalina wouldnt leave him alone. Zelda's dad was being a killjoy, Roy probed people and Marth kept bitching. He clearly was not in the mood for crap when Ike came over and said

"Hey Shithead. Hows the loner life going! Must suck having to chase after a girl you cant have! Weak!"

"Woah...Fuck off Ike...As if you havent had your fair share of that.." He retorted, rolling his eyes he put his stuff back in his locker.

"Woah! Cursy cursy man.." Ike said "Bad boy.."

"Oh fuckoff...two seconds ago you called me a shithead.."

"Hey watch yo-" The teacher was interrupted by link "FUCK OFF"

Ike smirked "You mad bro?" He taunted

"Wow dude...twenty minutes ago you were all teary eyed that i died...now im back and you suddenly become an asshole?" Link asked

Link walked out of the school to meet Zelda at the venom shop. Marth walked with him.

"dude if you whine at me im gonna tear your eyes from their sockets" He threatened

"Fine man...Jeez...Im just going to the buffet to eat the hell out of everything." Marth replied

"Yeah..You do that.." Link groaned. The amount Marth ate was disgusting.

**Zelda's POV**

Zelda was waiting for Link patiently with Lucina. She was gonna go to the buffet with Link

_Man I hope he doesent bring Marth...He whines like a bitch. _Zelda thought

"Hey Zelda" Link greeted. She then looked over to see...Marth of course

"Son of a fucking cunt!" Zelda burst out. "Oh...uh...im sorry...I mean uhhh.." Zelda was all of a sudden embarrassed.

"I think Zelda has issues" Marth whispered to Link

"Oh shut up jackass" Link retorted angrily

Zelda looked at them. "Well? We gonna go?" She asked. Link, Lucina and Marth nodded. "Ok..Lets go then". They all walked to the buffet and took their seat. Marth ordered Coke. Lucina got Smash Cola Link got Mello Yello, And Zelda got Water

Marth got up and got 10 plates of food. The rest of them got normal amounts of food. Link and Zeldas looked at eachother uneasily Lucina was about to throw up.

**Lucina's POV**

Lucina looked at them all "Im gonna go for a second..." she said while covering her mouth

_Oh My god he eats like a fucking pig_ Lucina thought as she left for the restroom. She puked her guts out. literally, she spent 10 minutes in there vomiting.

Lucina wiped her mouth off and went back. By that time Marth had already gotten 10 more plates just eating happily.

"My god Marth...You could win contests with an appetite like that!" Lucina exclaimed

"Already have...At an Androids game there was a hot dog eating contest. I won 970 to 22" Marth said "Didnt puke a single bit of it up"

"Uhh...Excuse me while i go kill myself.." Lucina muttered.

As she walked back to the restroom and bumped into Rosalina.

"How dare y-" "Shut the fuck up.." Lucina muttered as she continued to walk on.

"What the fuck is wrong with these people.." Lucina said. Her eyes wide. "I dont think i can take this..."

**And now Lucina..You finally understand Links pain. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	6. Lucina's backup

**Lucina's POV**

I was finally done puking my guts out. between Marths disgusting appetite and Kirby's sex jokes I was done. I walked outside to Link, who had been waiting for me apparently

"Lucina, would you mind coming over? I have a thing that will make backups of you...In case you try to kill yourself" Link said

"You...Have no idea" I said eyes widened "That was the most disgusting thing ive ever seen"

"Trust me...I know" Link replied "But what do ya say?"

"Sure!" I said

"Ok, glad you arent as difficult as some when i invite them over" He shrugged "Follow"

**Normal POV**

Lucina and Link were walking side by side talking about how whiny Marth was, How much of a jerk Ike was, and how bitchy Rosalina was.

"Like seriously! Roy Sword fucks a kid and hes just fiiiine but i say shit and Hell breaks lose!" Link said

"I KNOW RIGHT" Lucina said glancing over...To The horror of the Highschool..._The Koopalings_

"Oh god its them!" Link said drawing his sword "What do you idiots want?" He hissed

"I dunno, just wondering what you're doing with Ike's Girlfriend" Lemmy replied

"We arent even dating..." Lucina rolled her eyes

"Whatever, but Ike hired us to...Get rid of the threat" Junior said

"...Whaaaaaaaaat?" Link said

"We're here to kill you" Ludwig snapped "God..."

Link glanced at Lucina. She nodded and drew her sword.

Link hooked Lemmy and sliced his arm, leaving a large gash. Lucina smacked junior with the hilt of her blade.

"Ow! Retreat!" Junior said running off

Link glanced at Lucina "Ike is trying to kill me because im hanging out with you?" He asked "Thats such a fucking Roy move!"

"I guess" She shrugged "But im gonna keep hanging with you, because i dont like Ike...Just saying" She said

"Oh well thats good to know" He said "But that doesn't save me" Link said

"Sorry" She shrugged

"If you weren't my friend, i would hit you..." Link rolled his eyes. he sheathed his sword and continued to walk with her to his house.

**Links POV**

I walked into my house with Lucina. i saw my mother looking at me angrily

"So You're back you little fuckboy...And i see you brought a hooker home! You make me sick.." She scolded

"Lucina isnt a hooker! Shes my good friend, whom im making backups of" I retorted

"Whats the difference with your friends anyway! Your friends are whores!" She said

"Ugh, Whatever" I rolled his eyes leading her to Toon Links room.

"Wait...Toon Link is your brother?" Lucina asked

"No..Just another one of my clones.." I said "Anyway put a hair or whatever in the machine...You will create a backup of yourself" I explained "I use it all the time for Rosalina"

She nodded and did what he said. She turned back to me "Well, thanks, I guess ill be heading home"

"Ok" I said "Ill see you at school Tomorrow" I said

I turned back to Toon Link "Call Mega Man and invite him over, he should get here by tomorrow...I want to do some things with him"

**Any suggestions on the crazy adventures Link, Lucina and Mega Man can have together? Vote in the comments!**


End file.
